Outlastling discomfort

The last debugging post was helpful, but not definitively so. It helped write itself. The momentum stayed for one more post and then, once again, I unraveled. Collapsed.

So I need to expand my vision of what succeeding looks like. Succeeding includes difficulty. Followed by debugging.

 So, it is debug time.

What’s going on?

I’d like writing to feel good. And sometimes it does. But the good feelings are not stable and discomfort seems to be. Discomfort leads to distraction and avoidance. Then no writing. Unravelling.

I need to create a new game--called getting comfortable with discomfort.

Step one:  find something I want to do.

Step two:  sit down ready to start.

Step three: wait until I am comfortable. Then do my productive thing.

Getting comfortable might take a little while. It might take a long while. It doesn't matter. The new game is to sit, despite the discomfort, then outlast the discomfort, then start.

The discomfort does not want to persist, but I want to create. I am motivated to succeed. It is not. I will win.

So, that is what I have been doing with this post. Every time I have felt uncomfortable, I have stopped and waited until I have felt comfortable again. I have not walked away. I have not given up. I have not done the usual thing.

I am not avoiding discomfort. I am not fighting my way through the discomfort. I am I really willing to experience the discomfort.  And I am simply waiting for it to leave.

In the past, I have tried to own “my” discomfort. I have tried to fight it. I am not going to continue doing those things. I am not the source of the discomfort. I feel it, but I am not its creator.

When I sit down to write, I sit down with joy and anticipation. If something uncomfortable sits down with me,  I will wait for it to leave.

Let’s see if that sticks. If not, I will try something else.

 Difficulty is always followed by debugging. That's what succeeding looks like.